Intro; My Sun

    I never thought I would say this, but I resent living with my grandmother. I think she has raised me to be on this path of such destruction. Living with my grandmother, it was like putting a old soul and a vendective brain together to water a seed to be successful. I think I have been domed from day 1. I know it isn't nice to think like this, but I think if I raised in a different household, by someone else I might have been more accomplished then I am now. I grew up in a doubtful mind frame from jump, in a non-selfconcous body. I was the child who they always picked on, called me names, and threw daggers at. I was always told I wouldn't mount to be anyone or anything but another individual who was gone feed off the government. My family wasn't rich, but being broke wasn't an option. I didn't come from a family that had established college history name behind their names, yet they had higher expectations for you. If you weren't scoring higher than standard on your tests and making it to a four year college, your name was engraved in the bad book with each and every individual in the family. It was just how it was. You were either a "corehee" or "big shot" you choose which one would be better.. and you went from there..

       Unfortunately, although I didn't get pregnant at a young age, get hooked on drugs or end up on welfare, I still amounted to be chop liver to my aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmothers and grandfathers.  I am just another girl child born from a woman who has an illness (Now discovered as "Bipolar) before was just looked as screw being loose. But I still maintained to keep my head above water, I am not on welfare, I work very hard to keep it together for myself, my kids and my partner. Although I didn't managed to finish college, get married, have kids and have a house with a white picket fence (all in that order too) I look at myself very accomplished, with pride with agony! I would never take back any experience I have gone through because it all made me who I am today! I am stronger, smarter and I honestly can say I have experiences I can take with me forever. I can even take my life experiences, mentor young women, and even write a book that I know I would inspire others. My grandmother wouldn't agree, because she feel my experiences I have gone through could have been avoided or I caused most of my pain. It is all perspectives and the angles you decide to take it all in.. It begins with deep breathes though! Embrace yourself for the roller coaster you set to ride.. This is going to be no ordinary read! I promise you that this is gone get teary eyed, bring out the anger in some and even make you want to go back to your loved ones to appreciate them! I shed a whole new light on family, love, hate and death! This gets red burning hot better than hot sauce and scotch bonnet pepper! (grab your windex, water and enjoy!)